Monday, October 20, 2008

Poudest Moments

If you are a parent you probably can relate that your proudest moments involve your children. Things your children do greatly out shadow anything you may have done in your glory days, like throwing the winning touch down, placing at the AJQHA (American Junior Quarter Horse Association- the name AQHYA used to be called, I still have the coat with the old acronym) World Show, going to the National High School Rodeo. None of these things can compare to the pride that wells inside us from the actions of our children. It isn’t that their feats are so much greater than ours, but viewed through the rose colored glasses of parenthood, nothing can compare to what they do. The proud parents’ buttons burst at the first steps, the first words, the first games, the first prom, the first grandchild. Our hearts swell in pride at the smallest things our children do. On the flip side, yes, our children do embarrass us too and when they become teenagers we suddenly embarrass them beyond belief, and our intelligence greatly decreases, but that is another story.

The proudest memories I have of my children did not occur in public events, however. My proudest moments are quiet events that few people know about. These moments are often shared only between a few people, but that doesn’t make them any less memorable, rather they are even more memorable. The proudest moments are not winning rides in the show pen, graceful dance performances, or breathtaking bull rides, even though I must say I have swelled with pride watching my kids do these things. My proudest moments with my children have been watching them interact with others showing the utmost compassion and empathy. Finding out that my college age son took the time to call and visit with a family friend whose father had just died. As he told me, “I didn’t really know what to say, but knew I should call and say something.” Welcome to adulthood. As he learned, it is not what you say, but the fact that you took the time to show you care. Finding out your preteen daughter offered to help someone that looked like they needed help. While it wasn’t building a house for Habitat For Humanity, it was the recognition of a fellow human being in need of a helping hand and doing something about it. It certainly would have been easy to just walk on by, but she took the initiative to see if help was needed. Her heart was certainly in the right place. These are not just isolated examples, but two that really made me proud. Only a handful of people know about these events. Nobody won a belt buckle, a state champion trophy, or a full ride scholarship, but they still top my proudest moments. These are the kind of actions that go unseen most of the time, yet are the source of my greatest pride in my children.

While we should feel proud of our children’s and our own special accomplishments, we should remember that how we interact with each other, whether winning or losing, is what is really important. Twenty years from now very few people will remember who won the class, the state championship, or even the world championship, but people will remember how you treated other people. People will remember the phone call, or the offer of help. That is why I am a proud parent.